Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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