"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
