I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think I just sharted jello shots
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