Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
