ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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