Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
