You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize