You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I look better un-naked...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
