we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
