She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
