YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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