I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
