So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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