where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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