I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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