So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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