My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
