I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
