smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
