You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
