so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
