bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
