matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize