We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
