How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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