woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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