"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
