Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I got inside last night via doggy door
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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