There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
