She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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