I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize