I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
