Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
