She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
