i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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