so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
