Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
