Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
