i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
