Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Text me some of your sweat
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