Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
mondays should just be called national damage control day
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
