woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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