absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
