"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize