Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Couch. On fire.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
