No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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