THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
