I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
