he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
