Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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