There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize