Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
