one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
