I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
