there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
