end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
