Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
