I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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