We won't sleep together?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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