when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I deserve to be covered in dicks
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
