90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
