Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
