i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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