Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
