I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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