i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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